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Work In Progress

This was something I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my mental health 
although I don't feel as low as I did in this blog post, this is still very much what 
I feel about my own social anxiety. It shows how quickly this can change really
but I am more than happy to share it on here as this is something I haven't 
talked about before. 

So here goes...

I feel like I'm a Work In Progress. Like I never feel complete. That I'm never 
going to be fully OK. Whatever OK is.

Right now I feel like I'm struggling again. I had a couple of good weeks. The 
thoughts came and went. Didn't invade my every waking and non-waking 
moment. I got on with life. But I feel like I'm struggling again. 

I feel like all of this happens when I'm not comfortable. I've started University 
again. I have been exposed to people that I don't know and everyone knows how 
important first impressions are. I know how important first impressions are.

It's always the feeling that I'm saying something wrong. That this can turn into 
something else. My own words haunt me. My own thoughts. My actions. My 
decisions. This is how it manifests. This is what Social Anxiety does.

Right now it feels too much. I've planned too much. That I thought I was 
improving but I was wrong.

This is what I mean by me being a Work In Progress. I feel like I'm improving. 
That I'm getting better. Whatever better is but I get a step back.

I have gotten to the point in my Mental Health that I know it will get better. I look
know I was before and know that I can pass that.

I know that I can take these moments to recharge. Make self-care a priority. I 
need to focus on me. Maybe that will help.

Still, I'm working through it and maybe. Maybe one day I will be able to cope 
fully.

Thank you for reading!

See you soon, 

Amy

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