Skip to main content

On Turning 23

So last year, I wrote a post called Turning 22 and about how my life was not ever-changing and that is was going to be a completely ordinary year. I wrote it. Kinda forgot about it but it took off. It still gets views now and this surprises me because it's so weird that people would find it interesting but they did.

I normally post these on my birthday. But my birthday has long since gone, it was on the 23rd of January. However, I still get a calling to write this post because of what happened a little over a year ago but because this year is different.

You see when I wrote the post last year I really thought that it was going to be an uninteresting year. I mean what really was going to happen? To me, it seemed like nothing.

I was wrong.

Like really wrong. A lot happened. I mean it didn't. My life didn't change. But my mind did. I discovered so much about myself last year and it was definitely not ordinary. I spend the majority of the summer depressed and my anxiety had got to the worse it has ever been. Hence the depression. Something that I have truly never had before. I relapsed and it was the worst.

It made me think. Like really think because the truth was that I have no idea how to control my life. I don't know what really is going to happen.

Which brings us on to this year and turning 23.

Unlike last year, I have some markers. I am going to finish university and I am going to look for a job. So as you can see these are clearly small changes.

That's the point really. In a year that nothing was meant to happen did it seems hard to predict what could happen. Like everything could change. But it might not.

It's so hard and I'm scared.

It feels so stupid to say what my life could be this year when I have no idea. Turning 23 means that I think everything is going to change and yes it might but this might be slow or fast but I have no idea.

Ageing always makes me think and this is just an insight into my weird and very confusing brain about me being scared of the future. What's new.

I'm scared and confused but I can't control what is going to happen and I have to remember that. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Book Review: The Great Godden by Meg Rossoff

   * I am reviewing this book which I was gifted for free from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own. * Title: The Great Godden  Author: Meg Rossoff Publisher: Bloomsbury  Source: NetGalley ( Bookshop UK |  Hive |  Goodreads  |  Storygraph ) Book Summary: Everyone talks about falling in love like it’s the most miraculous, life-changing thing in the world. Something happens, they say, and you know … That’s what happened when I met Kit Godden. I looked into his eyes and I knew. Only everyone else knew too. Everyone else felt exactly the same way. This is the story of one family, one dreamy summer – the summer when everything changes. In a holiday house by the sea, our watchful narrator sees everything, including many things they shouldn’t, as their brother and sisters, parents and older cousins fill hot days with wine and games and planning a wedding. Enter two brothers – irresistible, charming, languidly sexy Kit a...
Post a Comment
Read more

Reviewing All Of The Books

Earlier this year, I decided that I would review all of the books that I read. For the most part, I definitely have but over the last couple of months it has definitely gone to the wayside but that is because I have been so busy. I wanted to do it because I annoyed myself that I reviewed books years after I read them and I often couldn't remember the plot. Trust me this is still the case, but I have kind of run out of books that I need to review this year which is weird for me. My backlog is getting lower and as I am not reading as much, I genuinely think I might run out. This has never happened before. This is of course quite nice because I think that it creates feelings that are much better than remembering a book from two years ago. Thinking about it at the moment does definitely make it easier as it goes into my head on a computer screen and less memory space is always a good idea. I also do think that sometimes it does take the fun out of it though but there are a lot of benef...
Post a Comment
Read more

Popsugar Reading Challenge 2021 Wrap Up

Every year since 2015, I have had the Popsugar Reading Challenge to diversify my reading. Over the course of the last year, I would like to think that I have done this and looking at did a good job considering I have been so busy over the last year. Even though I did actually have a plan of a book to read for almost all of the prompts, I did just wing it for the latter half of the year. This was because I was just reading what I wanted to and because I was not really reading at all.  So let's see what I read this year... A book that’s published in 2021    Book I Want To Read: Gut Feelings by C. G. Moore Book I Actually Read: Gut Feelings by C.G. Moore An Afrofuturist book Book I Want To Read: The City We Became by N. K. Jemisin  Book I Actually Read:  The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin A book that has a heart, diamond, club, or spade on the cover  Book I Want To Read: Heartbreak Boys by Simon James Green Book I Actually Read: Ace of Spades by Faridah À...
Post a Comment
Read more